FACES OF ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA AND SETTING BOUNDARIES

What do you see when you look at old photo’s of yourself? While writing my memoir Misunderstood  it was a daunting task to revisit old photos and call upon painful memories associated with each and every photo. I wanted to be honest with myself in the recovery process of struggling with anorexia, bulimia and nighttime eating disorder. In doing so, I realized a lot about what triggered each and every cycle of fasting and binging I was experiencing. There was a lot of painful memories associated with these photos. However, I had many memories that brought great happiness during a time of balance in my life as well. As a part of self discovery I found it very helpful to remind myself to continue to strive for balance in my life by reflecting upon these photos from time to time. What I found most interesting was that it wasn’t about how I looked per say...It was how I felt deep down inside. What was I feeling? Why was I so broken? What was missing in my life? Why did it feel as if I was hiding from living a life of fullfillment when I had so much compassion for othera but none for myself.

I recall a Dr. telling me when I was 20 years old and weighed 83 lbs. that I needed to set boundaries in my life. I had NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT!!! From that day foreard I was reminded that if I chose not to set boundaries in my life nobody else would do it for me. I was forced to recognize if I stayed on the path I was on I could die from starving myself as I internalized my anxiety and pain. And still to this day 25 years later I struggle from time to time with setting boundaries. But, I recognize it and make an effort daily. To me this gives me hope that I am on the right path. I care deeply about the human condition. I have great compassion for others. If anything I hope that my readers and those I mentor understand the best gift you can give yourself is self compassion. However, if you do not set boundaries self compassion is virtually impossible to achieve.

If your struggling with addiction, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders or depression, tale a look at 8-10 photos from years previous. Think about your mental mindset. What were you missing in your life? What do you want your future to look like? Invision it, pray about your needs as an individual and know that all things are possible with direction and the proper mindset.

Try this again around the holiday’s and see how far you have grown. My hope is that each and every person who reads my blog and memoir will find internal growth, understanding, wisdom and self compassion. This is your life and you have the opportunity ro change course!!!

Let’s do it!!!!