The Road Less Traveled! Are you Okay? How I broke free from eating disorders, addiction, and suicidal ideation. A story of one's struggle and will to die, versus God's will for health and happiness.
Ch 1 Self Examination
Ch 2 The Causes, Triggers, Test Assessments, and History of Eating Disorders
Ch 3 Family History: What parents, teachers, and coaches need to know!
Ch 4 Understanding Relapse and Suicidal Ideation
Ch 5 Bulletproof ways to avoid relapse
Ch 6 Recovery
Ch 7 The Road Less Traveled
Ch 8 Treatment directory, resources, and insurance appeals
“Remember,
your journey to recovery is about self-discovery and empowerment, and you are
in control. When will you decide to choose The Road Less Traveled?”
Sherry Hudak
To sustain recovery, your mind, body, and spirit must be connected. Reflecting on how I found peace and contentment in my life, I remembered the notes I wrote in my journal at age twenty: “Mindfulness teaches us to protect our mental and physical well-being by connecting all aspects of our mind, body, and spirit.” When these three areas are balanced, it becomes clearer that we have three paths to choose from throughout our lifetime. We can follow our free will, the will of Satan, who seeks to destroy us when we are weak, or the will of God. My testimony describes what it was like to follow each of these paths when I fell prey to addiction and eating disorders. God’s presence in my life helped me realize that following The Road Less Traveled meant I would never suffer alone. Above all, I felt a pure, unconditional love in my heart.
The question that runs through Christianity is: “Whose will are you following on your path to recovery?” As you read my story, woven through the pages of this workbook, you'll see that the road to self and Satan nearly destroyed me. When I was weak and ready to give up, Satan took control of my mind, body, and spirit. He encouraged my self-destructive behavior, dug a hole, and buried me in dirt. This can happen to anyone because when we follow our own free will or Satan’s, we limit our ability to see what we are truly capable of as human beings. However, as I grew closer to God, He strengthened me to silence the voices fueling my depression and anxiety and guided me toward the suggested reading materials throughout this workbook. God pulled back the curtains over my eyes to reveal that worldly distractions were interfering with my recovery and our relationship. He also taught me that maintaining good health is vital to fulfilling the purpose He has for us. The Road Less Traveled opened my mind and heart to making better decisions at crossroads. Seeing the positive results of my choices, I realized that whether others understood me no longer mattered. What mattered most was that God understood me more deeply than anyone else! The Road Less Traveled may not be easy; however, it’s a path toward freedom from shame, guilt, and anger.
“Patience is the fruit of the spirit that only grows
through trials.”
Joyce
Meyer
Sharing my struggles with eating disorders and addiction, I felt like I was doing a live autopsy. However, to be reborn and start living, you must understand why you feel like you are dying, create a plan, and stick to it. So, you can start living. Being trapped with an eating disorder or addiction is like living in hell. Hell is like looking at your life and at who you could’ve been, and realizing you’re not that person. This perspective drove me to research the genetic link to learn more about my family’s mental health history. After studying various psychiatric conditions for more than thirty years, I was saddened to realize that my family rarely discussed their mental health or sought help, which led to a century of depression, unresolved anxiety, eating disorders, and addiction. Reflecting on this, I often wonder whether proper treatment might have changed their experiences, possibly preventing the divorce epidemic of the 1990s, when 4.7 divorces per 1,000 people occurred, compared with 2.4 in 2022. Would earlier intervention have lessened my own suicidal thoughts as a teenager? I can't help but think that previous generations in my family turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms to handle their anxiety and depression because of inadequate or unavailable treatment. But God always knows what we need. When we suffer, He gives us the gift of compassion. Recognizing this and offering one another genuine care can help us break old patterns of feeling unworthy. Compassion allows our hearts to heal authentically, dissolving the chains of shame and doubt that tie us to unhealthy patterns of behavior.
As I researched the topics in this workbook further, I found a sobering fact: approximately 30 million people in the US and 70 million worldwide have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. This suggests that these issues affect a significant portion of the global population. Shockingly, half of Americans are connected to someone fighting an eating disorder, yet only a few thousand doctors are trained to treat them. When I think about families, friends, clinicians, teachers, and spiritual leaders, I realize that almost every household could benefit from the resources in this workbook. As you prepare for the challenging journey ahead, ask yourself, “WHY is recovery important to me right now?” and “What is your WHY or reason for reading this workbook?” Your answers can significantly influence your ability to understand and overcome your struggle with an eating disorder or addiction. Your responses will guide you through the workbook's topics and highlight the importance of self-reflection throughout your healing process. This self-reflection isn’t a burden, but a powerful tool that puts you in control of your journey and empowers you to take steps toward recovery.
To grow and achieve your goals, you need to do what's uncomfortable in recovery. This workbook is designed to challenge your thinking and daily decisions, helping you rebuild your self-worth and self-esteem. You will learn to communicate your feelings more effectively, enabling you to approach your treatment plan with greater confidence. You will learn to advocate for yourself, whether you’re currently in treatment or seeking it. By design, this workbook is most effective when used alongside a therapist specializing in eating disorders and addiction. It aims to help you recover more quickly by addressing difficult questions now so you can regain control over your future. Your answers may also reveal why previous treatment programs haven’t led to a successful recovery, so you can avoid them in the future. The other half of this workbook includes resources and websites to help you and your family access the appropriate care needed to heal and live a meaningful life beyond addiction and eating disorders. This information is not intended to replace therapy, medications, diagnose or treat conditions, or discourage you from consulting your doctor.
On the cover of my workbook, I was at the peak of my career as an actress and model, having completed 20 films in just over 2 years. However, I longed to be wanted and understood for more than my body. The activities I once loved, and that brought me joy, were taken from my life as I became obsessed with food and exercise. Although I was eager to work on films that told meaningful stories, I had to decide whether being a starving artist was worth it. To be relevant, being a starving artist meant two things: no money and my body being used against me. Then came the Jeffrey Epsteins of the entertainment industry. Sex, drugs, and casting couches were everyday occurrences. Almost everyone had a price. If you didn’t sell your soul to make it big, your self-esteem suffered from constant rejection at auditions. As I struggled to accept yet another failed attempt to pursue a career that interested me, I fell into severe depression and experienced my worst relapse to date. As my memory started to fade, because of debilitating pain associated with Scleroderma and fibromyalgia, I returned to therapy to work through every unhealthy relationship that was robbing me of seeing the beauty within myself and the world around me. I wanted to understand why I was so self-destructive. I needed to know why my suicidal thoughts seemed to resurface when life became stressful. I also wanted to understand why I sabotaged every opportunity in my life. Even then, I was relentless about asking others twenty years later, “Are you OK?!”
As
I continued my journey to recovery, I realized that the compassion I showed to
strangers was something I had never extended to myself. I wondered if I had
known then what I know now, would I have fallen prey to the opioid epidemic at
the hands of doctors? Or would I have chosen a different way to relieve my
physical and emotional pain? What if I wasn’t given Narcan to reverse the
overdose? Would I still be here to share my story? No matter the choices I’ve
made in my weakened state of mind, only God can help me forgive the medical
profession for failing me, as I recall the conversations I overheard while
lying in a hospital bed, clinging to life. Because, as depressed as I was, and
despite my desire to end my life, I truly wanted help. But I was drowning—drowning
from the loss, the pain, the tragedies, the lies, and a former life I no longer
remembered as my memory began to fade. That is, until I found my purpose and my
reason to live! I now have a daughter, a story, and a vision to help families communicate more effectively and seek treatment to overcome their personal struggles.
For over 40 years, only one doctor
explained what a black-box warning meant. But that wasn’t until I was lying in
bed, unable to move my legs because of a reaction to the antibiotic
Ciprofloxacin. That reaction led me to quietly research every medication I have
been on since puberty. It took me many years of trial and error with different
medications to realize that several different medications were fueling my
suicidal thoughts and self-destructive behaviors. You will have the opportunity
to dive deeper into how your medications have made you feel, so you can avoid
the potential side effect of suicidal thoughts that might have been overlooked
in the past. Don’t assume your doctor has the answers. You hold the answers to
the root of your suffering, which will be revealed in your answers in this
workbook.
So, what is a BLACK BOX
WARNING? It alerts clients, doctors, and patients that a drug may cause
serious, potentially life-threatening side effects when not used correctly. It
doesn’t mean the medicine shouldn’t be used; it means extra caution is needed
upon prescribing these medications, and patients should be informed before
administering them. Antidepressants carry a BLACK BOX WARNING for
increased suicidal ideation in children, teens, and young adults. Also, over 400 medications carry a BLACK BOX WARNING
with potentially life-threatening side effects. This suggests that if
what you are doing isn’t working, you can ask your doctor about finding a
better option.
One of the most significant LIGHTBULB MOMENTS in my
journey was when I was 15, and a doctor prescribed me LITHIUM for bipolar
disorder. But
I wasn’t bipolar! Looking back, I can honestly say that an
incorrect diagnosis and misuse of lithium initiated a
thirty-year battle with anorexia, bulimia, night-time eating disorder, and
suicidal thoughts. In chapter four, you will learn more about the history
and misconceptions surrounding lithium. When used correctly, lithium offers
anti-suicidal benefits, helps with cognitive decline in dementia, reduces
irritability and impulsivity, decreases oxidative stress, and boosts dopamine
production. However, until doctors evaluate their patients from a functional
psychiatry perspective, including genetics, lifestyle, medications,
nutrition, trauma history, biochemistry, and micronutrient deficiencies,
Psychiatric Polypharmacy will continue as a treatment approach that relies
heavily on medications, hoping to lower the suicide rate while worsening
our mental health crisis.
SAFETY:
What it means: Feeling physically and emotionally safe
What it may look like:
The Biopsychosocial Model best describes how our health has three parts biology “our body genes, brain, nervous system, infections, other illnesses our psychological “our mind” thoughts and beliefs, emotions like anxiety, sadness, anger, coping habits (exercise, substance use, social media, past trauma), and social “your world” family, friends, work support, money stress, housing, access to care. These three constantly interact.
The Biopsychosocial Model approach looks beyond a
prescription and combines treatment options by addressing the big picture. This,
too, is the objective of my workbook The Road Less Traveled "Are You OK?" The biopsychosocial model expands the
picture so your story and environment count. When care respects all three,
treatment is more likely to fit into your daily life and positively impact your recovery.
SEROTONIN:
DOPAMINE:
GABA:
ACETYLCHOLINE:
NOREPINEPHRINE:
GLUTAMATE:
In this presentation, you will discuss the following tips to get the most out of your doctor visit.
Click on the link below.
https://youtu.be/Hx13CBemzT8?si=-YcXnEj8r0CDqse8
