FACES OF ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA AND SETTING BOUNDARIES

What do you see when you look at old photo’s of yourself? While writing my memoir Misunderstood  it was a daunting task to revisit old photos and call upon painful memories associated with each and every photo. I wanted to be honest with myself in the recovery process of struggling with anorexia, bulimia and nighttime eating disorder. In doing so, I realized a lot about what triggered each and every cycle of fasting and binging I was experiencing. There was a lot of painful memories associated with these photos. However, I had many memories that brought great happiness during a time of balance in my life as well. As a part of self discovery I found it very helpful to remind myself to continue to strive for balance in my life by reflecting upon these photos from time to time. What I found most interesting was that it wasn’t about how I looked per say...It was how I felt deep down inside. What was I feeling? Why was I so broken? What was missing in my life? Why did it feel as if I was hiding from living a life of fullfillment when I had so much compassion for othera but none for myself.

I recall a Dr. telling me when I was 20 years old and weighed 83 lbs. that I needed to set boundaries in my life. I had NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT!!! From that day foreard I was reminded that if I chose not to set boundaries in my life nobody else would do it for me. I was forced to recognize if I stayed on the path I was on I could die from starving myself as I internalized my anxiety and pain. And still to this day 25 years later I struggle from time to time with setting boundaries. But, I recognize it and make an effort daily. To me this gives me hope that I am on the right path. I care deeply about the human condition. I have great compassion for others. If anything I hope that my readers and those I mentor understand the best gift you can give yourself is self compassion. However, if you do not set boundaries self compassion is virtually impossible to achieve.

If your struggling with addiction, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders or depression, tale a look at 8-10 photos from years previous. Think about your mental mindset. What were you missing in your life? What do you want your future to look like? Invision it, pray about your needs as an individual and know that all things are possible with direction and the proper mindset.

Try this again around the holiday’s and see how far you have grown. My hope is that each and every person who reads my blog and memoir will find internal growth, understanding, wisdom and self compassion. This is your life and you have the opportunity ro change course!!!

Let’s do it!!!!

10 STEPS TO A POSITIVE BODY IMAGE

TRIGGERS AND EATING DISORDERS

TRIGGERS= Anything that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions to initiate or precipitate a behavior or process. (Ex. chain of events, specific reaction, psychological process)

5 TRIGGERS

TRIGGER #1 EMOTIONS

1. Not feeling loved makes me self destructive
2. Exposing myself too much emotionally can allow for a relapse
3. Need for control…{stressful situations make me want to relieve my anxiety through exercise to regain control over my life}
4. Feelings of sadness, unhappy, disappointed make me want to seek the adrenaline rush from working out as I process these feelings

TRIGGER #2 STRESS

1. Currently Scleroderma diagnosis,
2. Dr. Visits and constantly being weighed and it being discussed
3. Weighing myself multiple times a day and repeating those numbers in my head
4. Remembering medications, treatment options (see more in my book🙏 Misunderstood coming out in 2020)

TRIGGER #3 SELF TALK

1. Lose 1-2-3 more lbs and I will be happy but that’s never the case
2. Resetting goals and weight being included to lose weight (see more in my book 🙏Misunderstood coming out in 2020)

TRIGGER #4 SOCIAL PRESSURE/PEOPLE

1. Hearing people talk about diets or exercise
2. My parents and their comments about my weight

TRIGGER #5 ENVIRONMENTAL CUES

1. Summer pool season with daughter feeling pressure to wear shorts and show my legs
2. Winter I typically workout more so I don’t get depressed. I can layer my clothes so nobody can see I’ve lost weight.
3. Early spring I fast to lost weight for summer (I naturally do this without thinking) I end up being dehydrated and get sick like clockwork and hate that I do it. This is something I’m working on regarding the transition in seasons here in Ohio.
4. Fall seems to be the most balanced time of year for me statistically speaking.
5. I didn’t start wearing t-shirts to the gym until just a few years ago. For about twenty-five years I hid behind sweatshirts and baggy pants. After having my daughter I realized at my age it was time to try to start appreciating my body and stop hiding from it. This was a huge milestone i accomplished in the last few years.
   

   

HAPPINESS

If you were asked to define happiness what would your definition include?

The ancient greeks define happiness as:
“Happiness is the joy that we feel when we’re striving after our potential.”

Shirley Maclaine, Acadamy Award Winning Actress, said:
“To be happy, you have to be willing to be ok with NOT knowing.”

Michael J. Fox said:
“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and inverse proportions to my expectations.”

In the Movie Kodachrome, Ed Harris (a dieing man) says happiness is a myth. He states, “ happiness is narcissism, ambition, sex and rage.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-addiction-connection/201506/whats-your-definition-happiness?amp

50 BOOKS TO READ ABOUT EATING DISORDERS

https://bookriot.com/2018/05/24/books-about-eating-disorders/

Note: Some books might be triggering.

REGAIN SELF TRUST

DON’T BE A STATISTIC

Scleroderma and Eating Disorders

NEDA HELPLINE AND SCREENING TOOLS

WHAT DOES THE VOICE OF ANOREXIA HEAR?

HEALTH AND WELLNESS FAIR

Top Rated Drugs and Medications For Eating Disorders

https://www.edreferral.com/ed-medications

Scientific Research and Development of Eating Disorders

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/help-overcome-eating-disorders/studies/scientific-developments-and-research-in-eating-disorders-laying-the-groundwork-for-increasingly-effective-treatment

H.O.W of Recovery

The 5 W’s in recovery!

MIND BODY SPIRIT

MEMORY LOSS

What motivates you? What happens when your mind wants to conquer the world but, your body begins to fail you? What happens when you start having memory loss yet your career requires countless hours of memorization? As an actress, producer and writer these are things I struggle with daily. Not only due to my history of eating disorders for over thirty years but, my diagnosis of Systemic Scleroderma.

One of the most important things I’ve learned since my diagnosis Scleroderma is LIFE WILL GO ON WITH OR WITHOUT ME! I also learned that no matter what I am going through...someone else   is suffering far greater pain and uncertainty in their life.

WE MUST GET UP, DRESS UP & FULLFILL OUR INDIVIDUAL PURPOSE IN LIFE!!

Often times things don’t appear how they look on the outside at first glance.

For instance...when I was cast in the role of Mary in the film Before The Border. I had just undergone chemotherapy two days prior to showing up on set in Pittsburgh. I recieved a call, auditioned and was cast within 24 hours I was on set. I didn’t have much time to think about how I was feeling or the lack of ability to memorize my lines. “I was a wreck!” I was less then confident. I obsessed over memorizing my lines all while on the verge of feeling like I was going to pass out.

My cast members had no idea what I was going through. As a professional it was important to maintain a positive work environment our team created on set. I found it to be helpful to dive into other peoples stories. What were they going through? This helped me tremendously. It lifted my spirits. I gained so much wisdom and understanding from my fellow cast

mates. Athough it was a challenge for me...I grew for pushing myself when I could’ve just given up and not taken the role.

So, today being motivation monday...I ask you to remind yourself you are not alone. You are only alone if you make that choice. Take a moment and ask others how they are doing. Smile at a stranger and see how it lifts your spirits!

JUST DO IT!!!

Have a great day!
Keep smiling😊

EATING DISORDERS AND AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE

Is there a link between eating disorders and autoimmune disease and other chronic conditions?

What is the latest drug used for bulimia?

With eating disorders on the rise, it is more important now more then ever to learn as much as possible to better understand the on going research being done to help those suffering daily.

Coming from a family of nearly a century of eating disorders it is my  mission to break the cycle of addiction!!!

Below is a recent article offering new info the topic mentioned above.
https://www.waldeneatingdisorders.com/what-is-the-latest-eating-disorder-research/

Research Study Opportunity

#NEDAwareness week ends today. However, research is ongoing to better understand the development and physiological components of eating disorders. Below is a link to sign up to be a part of a study. 

#postivethoughtsonly

#youarebeautiful

#loveyourself

#yougotthis

http://eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/research/