My Anorexia Story Actress Shares 30 Year Struggle

My Anorexia Story

Good Morning! Thank you for your continued support. As I head into the final leg of writing my memoir prior to publication, I've put together an inspirational video to share with you my journey. Please share with someone seeking hope and faith that all things are possible! Thank you for watching! I will be updating my blog with new research data and statistics this spring. https://youtu.be/9J3M7Q1K1cs

Jay Rossi Show

http://youtu.be/o9FyblUBksc

National Eating Disorder Awareness week for 2014 begins Feb 23-March 1

Here is the link used by NEDA with valuable information for individuals and their families seeking information about eating disorders. Proud To Be Me http://www.proud2bme.org

Nip Tuck

Prayers needed for my sister Tina Hudak-Paradis.

MY DAILY PRAYER TO OVERCOME THE CHAINS OF HELL

                                   PRAYER to RISE

                                                                  2014

         FATHER I come to YOU in the name of JESUS, asking for your help in my life. 

Thank you for knowing and loving me completely.
YOU know all of my struggles I'm facing concerning FOOD, EXERCISE and BODY IMAGE.
I CONFESS that I have turned to food to be my source of love, comfort, and joy when I should be turning to YOU instead. I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FOR THAT.
Be Lord and Savior over my body and life.

         Father I ask for YOU to help me with my attitudes, choices and behaviors towards food. 
Where I have incorrect, unhealthy approaches, I ask, Lord, for YOU to give me GUIDANCE and WISDOM as to how and what I am supposed to eat in order to be YOUR HEALTHY CREATION.
         
         In the name and by the blood of Jesus, I cast down wrong ways of thinking and feeling about myself, whether they are from my childhood or more recent days. 
I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS in these matters, involving each person concerned.

       HELP ME TO LEARN  YOUR LOVE and YOUR WAYS, how to be YOUR daughter in spirit , soul and body, so that I may Love and glorify YOU and BE WHO YOU CREATED ME TO BE. 

 I ask all of this in Jesus name.

Amen.
 

NEDA AWARENESS 2014

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NEDAWARENESS WEEK KEY MESSAGES

The goal of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is to promote
public and media attention to the seriousness of eating disorders and
improve education about the biological underpinnings,environmental
triggers, warning signs and how to help those struggling. Education
and direction to resources can lead to earlier detection, intervention,
and help-seeking, ultimately improving likelihood of full recovery.

2014 Theme: I Had No Idea

This year the National Eating Disorders Association is stressing the need
to address eating disorder misconceptions - as many individuals, families,
and communities are not aware of the often devastating mental and physical
consequences - and highlights available resources for treatment and support.
We urge you to talk about the pressures, attitudes and behaviors that shape
these disorders with your family, friends, colleagues and community by doing
just one thing during NED Awareness Week. Your participation will
1) raise awareness that eating disorders are serious illnesses, not lifestyle
choices; 2)provide accurate information to medical, educational and/or business
communities,and 3) direct people to potentially life-saving information and
resources about eating disorders.

Join Us, and Do Just One Thing

You don’t need to have a lot of time, money or other resources to make a
 difference.

Simply choose
one thing you will do to help. Here are a few examples:

• Bring a NEDAwareness Week Volunteer Speaker to your PTA, workplace,
  college campus, club, etc.
• Download and print a free copy of NEDA’s Educator Toolkit, Parent Toolkit
  and Coach & 
• Athletic Trainer Toolkit to give to your local schools
• Provide accurate information: Put NEDAwareness Week posters, pamphlets
  and handouts in your 
• schools, community centers, medical offices or workplaces
• Maximize the power of your social networking: Join our campaign by tweeting
  a fact about eating 
• disorders, post one of the many NEDAwareness Week articles, share
  NEDAwareness
  Week videos and infographics, post the NEDA Helpline, share a link to
  NEDA’s online
  eating disorder screening

Eating disorders are serious illnesses, not lifestyle choices. 

Eating disorders are complex illnesses that arise from a combination of long-standing
behavioral,emotional, psychological, interpersonal, biological and social factors. As our
natural body size and shape is largely determined by genetics, fighting our natural
size and shape can lead to unhealthy dieting practices, poor body image and
decreased self-esteem. Body dissatisfaction and thin ideal
internalization are both significant risk factors for the development of eating disorder
behaviors like restricting and binge eating. While eating disorders may begin
with preoccupations with food and weight, they are about much more than food.
Recent research has shown that genetic factors create
vulnerabilities that place individuals at risk for acting on cultural pressures and
using food to feel in control or manage overwhelming emotions. 

In the United States, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from a clinically
significant eating disorder at some time in their life, including anorexia nervosa,
bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, or other specified feeding or eating
disorder (OSFED).

Education, early intervention, and access to care are critical.

Early diagnosis and intervention significantly enhance recovery. If not identified or
treated in their early stages, eating disorders can become chronic, debilitating,
and even life-threatening conditions. A review of nearly fifty years of research
confirms that anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric
disorder . As a culture, it is time for all communities to talk about eating disorders,
address their contributing factors, advocate for access to treatment and take action
for early intervention. You can make a difference: do just one thing to initiate
awareness, education and discussion about eating disorders in your community.
If we all do something, we’ll have a tremendous impact!

Help is available, and recovery is possible.

While eating disorders are serious, potentially life-threatening illnesses, help is
available and recovery is possible. It is important for those affected, and their loved
ones, to remember that they are not alone in their struggle. Others have recovered
and are now living healthy fulfilling lives. Let the National Eating Disorders Association
 (NEDA) be a part of your network of support. NEDA has information and
resources available via our website and helpline:www.NationalEatingDisorders.org,
NEDA Helpline:
800-931-2237.

Download and share the 2014 Key Messages here.

References 

Stice, E. (2002). Risk and maintenance factors for eating pathology:
A meta-analytic review.
Psychological Bulletin, 128, 825-848. PMID: 12206196

Arcelus, J., Mitchell, A. J., Wales, J., & Nielsen, S. (2011). Mortality
rates in patients with
Anorexia Nervosa and other eating disorders. Archives of General
 Psychiatry, 68(7), 724-731.

There is a purpose of suffering and why it happens!

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
James 1:2-4

Perseverance is required so that you may mature and feel complete by lacking nothing.

Dietary Protein and Resistance Exercise

A dear friend of mine Dr. Lonnie Lowery just finished putting together this book! I recommend those of you struggling with an eating disorder to read it! Weight training and quality protein has saved my life.

It's taken me over 15 years to heal and overcome by obsession to be thin. I'm proud to say even at well...almost 40 I'm finally there! For those of you longing to be thin...break those bad records playing in your head over and over. Lead by example! Discover how you can be fit and healthy at any age without being tied down by your eating disorder.

Check out the book Dietary Protein and Resistance Exercise and look for photo's of me in it!
Dream it, Believe it, JUST DO IT and make it happen!
Choose Recovery Today!
Thanks again to Dr. Lonnie Lowery for years of support and friendship!
Cheers

http://www.crcpress.com/product/isbn/9781439844564;jsessionid=Fhtu1bUmvuqvtVvC01P8Wg

Killing Us Softly

Take a look at this!
Killing Us Softly
http://front.moveon.org/kate-winslet-i-dont-look-like-that-and-i-dont-desire-to-look-like-that/#.T0DmJCwS5q).mailto

Video of my sister on her journey through recovery!

Watch the following video of my sister Tina Paradis on her journey! Which road will you take?

Tina Paradis Video

4 Generations of Eating Disorders! Let's reach out to family members and support them through recovery!

If you think eating disorders can't happen in your family take a look. Our family has four generations of eating disorders. Please support individuals struggling and get them help before it's too late!

For those of you who have followed my blog about my journey through recovery know I'm a success story!

But...as you watch the video, of my only remaining sibling; you will notice the path to recovery can be long and difficult. What you will witness is not only a cry for help but, one of the thousands of people struggling on a daily basis.

Please take a moment and share my blog with someone you know who is struggling with body image, self esteem and/or an eating disorder. Recovery won't happen without the support of others.

May 2012 bring you all health and happiness!

Positive thoughts only for anorexia and bulimia! Quote of the day!

" Take a chance make mistakes that is how you grow."
                                                                 Mary Tyler Moore

Core Question

Question:
Why is it so hard to see what is right?

Answer:
ISOLATION

Note: Recovery requires opening yourself up to facing life with the assistance of others. Recovery doesn't happen alone!

Key Components in recovery:
1. Find a qualified professional you feel comfortable with helping you on your journey.
2. Believe you need help and know it's ok to ask for it and take full advantage of that opportunity.
3. Remember life is about picking ourselves up when we fall. Sometimes it takes a few more people then we anticipate. 
4. It is ok to open ourselves up to accepting NOBODY'S PERFECT! 
5. Come up with a plan and stick to it!
6. Ask yourself how many people are being affected by your behavior and start the process of change.

Quote of the day!

" A man is what he thinks all day long."
                           Ralph Waldo Emerson
               **one of the wisest men who ever lived**

What % of your day do you spend thinking about food, weight and hunger?

People with anorexia nervosa spend 90-100%  of their waking time thinking about food, weight and hunger.

People with bulimia nervosa spend 70-90% of their total conscious time thinking about food and weight-related issues.

By comparison, women with normal eating habits will probably spend about 10-15% of their waking time thinking about food, weight, and hunger.

In my experience...for many years, dieting lead to fasting. Fasting lead to binging. Binging lead to taking speed. Speed lead to taking laxatives. One viscous cycle went unbroken for 15 years.

Ask yourself...Where does the pressure to succeed come from?

FACT:
Dissatisfaction with appearance is tied closely to our society and peer pressure.

Positive quote:
"Never limit yourself because of others limited imagination; never limit others because of your own imagination."

Bits and Pieces from my memoir...Your Will Not Mine! A 15 year journey through recovery. If I can beat the demons (anorexia, bulimia) so can you! Coming out soon...

            ***We all have a cross to bear and this is mine.***

                                                             Matt 7:13-14
                                The narrow road that leads to life is that of the cross.


Forgiveness is the beginning of a long process of healing and enables you to open your heart to love.

When did I begin to face the demon?
I realized I had an extremely distorted perception of myself and my body upon graduating from high school. I struggled with body image and my relationship with food since puberty.

When did I begin seeking treatment?
A few years out of high school. After my return from California.I received limited treatment in-patient and little treatment out-patient. Once I was dedicated to accepting the process of healing I believed one day I could put my struggles behind me. It took many years to be in the place I am today. Now, I can feel what it is like to truly live and enjoy happy moments without my obsession weighing me down.

What went so wrong in my life that my existence became endless hours of obsessive thinking, working out and starvation?
To many I  was just a complicated individual. Anorexia is very complicated but once we understand where the web began we can start the process of untangling the web we find ourselves suffocating in.

A few factors leading me down a crooked path of existing with anorexia/bulimia...
Loss of touch with acceptance of oneself during puberty, my innocence lost due to abuse, my inability to accept change as a part of surviving,.weak relationships with men, modeling, the pressure of society to be thin, lack of faith and understanding, broken support system, genetics and loving a fast pace life at a young age with lots of money!! I'm still amazed how I pulled through such a crazy mixed up life. But I did and so can you!!!!! Recovery will take commitment to the process and patience as time will heal.

So, what is my background?
I come from a hard working middle class now divorced family of 2.5 kids. We had horses, dogs, chickens, ducks and roosters all surrounded by a white picket fence. I was an average student. I can remember from a very young age always having stars in my eyes.

So what happened?
Modeling made it impossible for me to see the person I was on the inside. I was consumed with others opinions of what beautiful meant and at the time thought "the thinner the better."
My parents divorced after 25 years.
LIFE...It happens!!!! Acknowledge where you've been and start planning a future by confronting issues that needed to be dealt with. Start moving forward towards healing.

Where does it get so complicated?
Well it does...puberty, boys, school, modeling, heartbreak, wealth, fame, divorce, death, oh and then on top of all of the I guess typical obstacles of life a divorce and oh yeah the house burns down. That's right! So what does one do? Exactly what I did for many years! Isolated, fasted, cried, prayed, exercised, and ran away from the pain I was feeling. But, honestly its all worked out! I've worked hard for many years as I faced the grip anorexia, bulimia had over me almost taking my life a few times.

So, what's the point?
I guess the many years of giving into my obsession to be thin and wasting away the pain I was feeling by allowing anorexia to take over was worth it. If I can help one person stay on the right path.

The road to recovery was long, exhausting and often overwhelming. Recovery was difficult, frustrating and well worth the reward to finally identify what was most important in my life. One must see recovery is a process and trust in that process.

What is most important in my life is learning to live and to be free from the chains of hell my eating disorders  had over my freedom.

Acknowledge that recovery for each individual will be different. Hold onto the desire to get well and one day you will look back and see  "RECOVERY IS A PROCESS"


What do I hope to accomplish with my memoir?
I hope to accomplish many things.
1.  I hope my story will explain my behavior to the individuals who have always been there for me. I'm not asking for piety just some understanding for my behavior.
2.  I hope my story will help individuals struggling with an eating disorder see the NOT SO PRETTY SIDE OF BEING ANOREXIC/BULIMIC and it's ability to strip you of time!
3. I hope my story will allow families to pick up the pieces of their lives and take responsibility for whatever part they have played in feeding into and creating the demon.
4. For those of you currently struggling I BELIEVE MY STORY WILL HELP YOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK.
***Each chapter lists a positive affirmation and biblical citation which will guide you through the process of healing and moving forward through recovery.
5. I'd like to bring to the table the gift of forgiveness and believing anything is possible if we BELIEVE!
6. I hope my material will better explain  how the many layers of how an eating disorder can develop. (even to a family that appears on the outside to be pretty "Perfect"!)
7.I hope my story will allow the reader struggling to see that no matter how bad you want to remain tied to particularly anorexia if it's god's will to heal you he will bend and break you to your knees until you see what he has been trying to open your eyes to.
8. I hope my memoir can be used as a teaching tool to show you the value of living for the sake of living and not for the sake of feeding into society's ideal of what its like to feel alive!!!!!!!!!!
9. I hope my memoir will help individuals see where the pressure is coming from and take responsibility to change their behaviors.
10. Recovery can't be done alone. Start the process now by admitting you need help and take the necessary steps to embrace recovery.
11. Remind yourself when you feel overwhelmed...Matthew 9:12 "It's not the healthy that needs a Dr., but the sick.
12. Finally, ask yourself... Is your life  really that bad? I promise you once you begin making progress in your recovery you will see yourself and the world around you from a more accurate perspective.


Recovery is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've learned through the years that no matter what we experience on our journey through life that with forgiveness, faith and the will to move passed the pain, "this too shall pass."

Quote of the day!

"If you can't tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people."

                                                            Virginia Wolfe 1882-1941
                                                                     English Writer

Quote of the day!

      "To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible."
 
                                                                 Thomas Aquinas c 1224-1274
                                                                            Philosopher and Theologian

Binge Eating Disorder

**An episode of binge eating is characterized by both the following:
 1. Eating in a discrete period of time (ex. within any 2 hour period) an amount of food that is larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances.

 2. A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode. Feeling that one cannot stop eating or control   what or how much one is eating.
_____________________________________________________
**Binge episodes are associated with three or more of the following:
 1. Eating much more rapidly than normal

 2. Eating until feeling uncomfortably full.

 3. Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry.

 4. Eating alone because of being embarrassed by how much one is eating

 5. Feeling disgusted with oneslef, depressed or very guilty after eating.
_______________________________________________________
**Binge eating occurs, on average, at least 2 days a week for 6 months

_______________________________________________________
**Binge eating is not associated with the regular use of inappropriate compensatory behaviors (ex. purging, fastin, excessive exercise and does not occur exclusively during the course of Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa

Take A Self Test!!!!!!!

                            "   An important part of recovery is self discovery! "

 Check out this site http://www.psyweb.com/  for excellent information regarding:

* DSM-IV DSM Disorders Diagnostic Criteria.
*Self tests (ex. personality, depression, anxiety, social anxiety and OCD)

Bulimia

Bulimia Nervosa is a disorder in which one has frequent episodes of binge eating followed by purging or ridding the body of food. Bulimics often vomit, use laxatives and diuretics, and/or compulsively exercise. Bulimics are not visibly underweight;yet like anorexics, they use food as a means of coping with psychological problems. Unlike anorexics, bulimics feel out of control and recognize their abnormal behaviors. two to five young girls out of 100 develop bulimia.

How Do I Identify Bulimia Nervosa?
*secretive eating
*disappearance of large amount of food in short periods of time
*frequent trips to the bathroom after meals
*excessive, rigid exercise regimen
*swelling of the glands in neck and face area
*calluses on the back of hand and knuckles from self-induced vomiting
*discoloration, staining of the teeth
*creation of complex lifestyle schedules/rituals to make time for binge and purge sessions
* withdrawal from usual friends and activities
*preoccupation with body weight
*depression
*mood swings
*heartburn
*bloating
*irregular periods
*constipation
*indigestion
*sore throat
*weakness, exhaustion
*blood shots eyes
*dehydration

Anorexia

Anorexia means loss of hunger. Anorexia Nervosa is a psychiatric illness characterized by self-starvation and excessive weight loss. Anorexics have an intense fear of weight gain, and their preoccupation with food and weight often masks other psychological problems. Anorexics have a distorted perception of their body size and shape, and refuse to maintain a healthy body weight. One out of every 100 adolescent girls will develop anorexia.

How Do I Identity Anorexia?
*dramatic weight loss
*preoccupation with weight and food
*refusal to eat certain foods
*comments about feeling "fat" or overweight despite weight loss
*denial of hunger
*loss of monthly periods
*development of food rituals (ex. breaking food into small pieces, eating foods in certain orders, excessive chewing, rearranging food on plate)
*consistant excuses to avoid mealtimes or situations involving food
*excessive, rigid exercise regimen
*withdrawel from usual friends and activities
*weariness, lethargy
*mild depression, irratibility
*dry, thin, lackluster hair
*fine body hair (a.k.a. lanugo)
*cold hands and feet
* ashen or dry skin
*chipping, weak, brittle nails
*bleeding gums
*constipation
*fainting spells

What does APPETITE mean?

* A natural desire
*An inherent or habitual drive or propensity for gratification or satisfaction
* An object of desire

Questions:
How do you satisfy your appetite?

Are you using food/or lack of food to fuel your desires?

What kind of relationship do you have with food?